Replayed
by LlafesorNabru
Summary: I wake up. I wake up. I wake up. And yet nothing changes. It's still the 5th of November, 2004. Time loop fic. LxOC.
1. Fast Forward

**Disclaimer: **Nope, not mine.

**A/N: **My first Death Note fanfiction. Almost completely rewritten, because the last one I posted was incredibly atrocious…

The basic setting of this story is that it's a time-loop fic. The OC (mine!) is reliving the day of L's death over and over again. The beginning of this story takes place during the last time she does so. Enjoy!

* * *

><p><strong>November 5, 2004. 3:20 a.m.<strong>

_Ring. Ring._

Little by little, my eyes opened slowly, dimly registering the pale grey sunlight filtering through the curtains across from me.

_Ring. Ring._

Rolling over onto my side, I slowly reached over to the small digital alarm clock sitting on the nightstand, switching it off. Silence filled the room, abruptly thick and smothering.

_So this is how it feels,_ I thought, _waking up knowing that today is the day you will die._

* * *

><p><strong>12:14 p.m.<strong>

"Kurazaki-san, do you mind helping me out with these papers? Ryuuzaki told me to sort them out, but the thing is…"

It was raining again. The same, monotonous beat of water against the glass of the building, like hundreds of hands, begging for entrance. I had that rhythm memorized. And yet today, it was if I were listening to something I had never heard, nor seen, nor felt before—I counted each silver drop as it caught the weak light.

"Kurazaki-san…?"

It seemed only a few days ago that I had been screaming, craving for a new sky. But today, everything was different. Today, the world was reborn in my eyes.

"Ariko!"

I jolted in my seat and twisted around to see the rest of the Kira Task Force, minus the one I wanted to see the most, staring at me with raised brows. I blinked. "Huh?"

"Um… help me with this?" Sheepishly, Matsuda held up a stack of files. "Sorry if I disturbed you…"

"It's fine." Getting up from my seat on one of the long couches near the window, I moved over to where Matsuda was sitting, looking thoroughly flustered as he appraised the thick piles of paperwork in front of him. "So, erm… what are we supposed to do?"

"They're lists of phone calls made by Higuchi a few days prior to his death. You're meant to arrange them by the name of the contact, and then by the date and time at which the calls were made." Light's voice was mellifluous as always, coming from his seat at one of the computers to my left.

"Thanks, Yagami-kun," I murmured, running my hands over the long lists of fine black print that spanned the length of one of the pages. _Paperwork, of all things… perhaps this would be the one thing I _wouldn't_ miss…_

" 'Yagami-kun' ?" I looked back at Light. "Why so formal now, Riko-san?"

I'd forgotten. "Ah, sorry, Light-kun. I guess I'm still out of it." I gave what I hoped was a convincing yawn and turned back to the files.

I pretended I didn't feel his eyes on the back of my head.

Some time and many caller IDs later, I glanced at my watch.

"Well, I think I'm going to take a break now," I said to Matsuda, standing up. "I feel like I'm going to pass out if I have to look at another one of these…"

"Where are you going?" he asked, a slight frown coming between his thick brows as he continued examining a particularly messy looking list.

"Not far. Maybe get some fresh air, on the roof."

From across the room, Aizawa frowned in distaste. "Are you crazy? It's pouring out there!"

"Yeah, I know." I gave a small wave to the others in the room and left, closing the door shut behind me. As I walked, the sounds of my sneakered feet made dull plodding noises on the hard floor and almost unaware of what I was doing, I pushed each step harder into the ground.

Each hard thud felt strangely satisfying; soon, I found myself positively stomping up the stairs. As always, my actions put my feelings into the open in a way my words never could; each pounding step seemed to declare: _Here! Here I am. I existed, I exist and once upon a time, I trampled through this building because I had every right to be here. You cannot erase me._

But as I neared the door that led to the rooftop, my footsteps stopped as I stopped. I put one hand on the cold, metal handle and pushed it open.

There he was.

Standing against the rain, face upturned towards the iron sky above, eyes beholding their usual expression of wide eyed fascination. The rain was beating heavily against him, but he didn't seem to notice, or care, and he just stood there, barefoot, as he was pummeled by the wind and the rain.

I watched him for a second, and faltered.

As I stared at him, L cocked his head minutely in my direction, watching me out of the corning of one deep black eye. Questioning.

A faint smile coming to my face, I jogged over to him, leaving my sheltered position and running out into the rain. The cold was like a slap.

"A little b-birdie told me you would be up here," I said through chattering teeth, grinning despite myself. I felt like an idiot, standing here in front of him, absolutely soaked to the skin. At least L did this with dignity. "I h-have to say, I don't really c-care for your taste in w-weather."

He didn't reply and the grin slowly slid off my face as if it were water. Nervousness washed through me like a flood—had I ever been this informal around him before now? In all my excitement, I had forgotten that he most likely wouldn't have the same reaction to me as yesterday, or even the day before. Chagrin quickly replaced my worry.

"I find it peaceful." Relief made my stomach do funny flips at his low, quiet reply.

"I'll have to disagree," I said as lightning flashed across the sky, quickly followed by the raging growl of thunder. I shivered and I saw L's pale lips quirk upwards slightly.

"Why is that, do you think?" He asked me the question suddenly and I fell silent, watching him. "Why does something as trivial as—rain—inspire such emotions in humans? How is it that they are so affected by such a simple outcome as precipitation in the water cycle?"

It took me a minute to process what he just said.

"You talk like you aren't, Ryuuzaki," I said uncomfortably. "Human, I mean."

He only stared at me with heavily ringed eyes, black as coal.

"We're all human, Ryuuzaki," I said quietly. "Even the best of us. We can't help but be affected by—" I waved a hand around at the bleak surroundings, "—this. I guess you could say we're naturally sentimental creatures."

_Would this be the last time I would ever feel the rain on my face?_

I wrapped my arms around myself to keep from shaking too badly. L watched me.

"Are you cold?" he asked me. I shook my head. "You should go back inside, anyway."

"I'd rather not," I said, thinking of Light. "Besides, _you_ aren't going, so why should I?"

L met my eyes and he shuffled, slow steps towards me. "I could hear you coming up the stairs," he said with a hint of a smile. I flushed. "Were you angry about something?"

"No… not anymore, at least." I looked out at the uneven, sprawling horizon, heavily blurred by the grey rain. "You know, to be honest Ryuuzaki… right now… I'm happier than I'd ever been in my entire life." I sighed. "What does that say about my life, then…"

"Riko-san, why are you here?"

I stopped. "What?"

His eyes were sharp now, calculating under his mess of dripping hair. "Why are you here?" he repeated.

"What—on the roof?" I looked back, confused. "Well, I thought—"

"No. _Here_. As part of the Task Force." I blinked and yet he continued to stare at me with hard eyes. "Your innocence has already been proved by Higuchi's death. You do not have any ties with family, as Light does, who are part of the team. Nor are you still under suspicion, as with Misa Amane. You are free to leave."

"Do you _want_ me to go, L?" I asked him quietly. " Do you _want_ me to leave?"

I never thought the term 'broken heart' as something literal. But it did hurt. Even as I angrily brushed away the stinging moisture in my eyes, it hurt.

"Then you should be incredibly happy, L! You should celebrate! Because you'll be getting your wish soon, won't you?" My voice had risen to almost a shout though it was still largely drowned out by the howling of the wind. "No more Ariko Kurazaki, tagging along! No more dead weight! Wouldn't that be pleasant for _everyone_?"

Lightning flashed, turning everything black and white for an instant; thunder roared like a beast. And L continued to look at me, with no discernable expression on his impassive face.

"We should go back inside." It was amazing how his deep, soft voice could still be heard above all the racket, as clearly as if he were standing next to me. L inclined his head towards me lazily. "You'll catch a cold."

Without waiting for a reply he turned around and began to steadily make his way back to the roof entrance I'd left open, hands in the back pockets of his faded, blue jeans and his usual slouch in place.

I stared at his retreating figure for a moment in disbelief before I followed him.

* * *

><p><strong>3:04 p.m.<strong>

Water seemed to pour ceaselessly from my hair unto the cold stone steps that I sat on—I guess this was one of the disadvantages of letting it grow. Absentmindedly I ruffled it with the towel Ryuuzaki had handed to me earlier, but it didn't really make a difference; the towel came away as soaked as if it had been out in the rain also.

_What's the point, then?_

Slowly, the hand holding the towel lowered down, resting quietly on the floor by my side. In silence I remained, staring at the rough denim covering my knees as I contemplated the end.

"Well, that was certainly an unwise expedition outdoors."

I raised my head at the sound of L's voice behind me. "Yeah. You're right."

_Would it hurt? _I wondered. _Would it hurt, very much to die?_

I heard the soft thuds of Ryuuzaki's bare feet against the floor approaching and I let my head tilt upwards to look at him. Had the situation not been as it was I would've chuckled at the sight he presented—with the fluffy yellow towel dangling on his head he looked like a nun, or a saint, but then again we both knew he was everything but.

He sat down next to me, for once not taking up his usual crouch. I didn't look at him. How could I, after what I had said…

I raised the hand that held the towel half hearted up to my hair once more but the glowing green numbers of the digital watched strapped to my wrist caught my eye. As I read the time, it felt like ice pounded through my veins instead of blood; it was nearly over.

_Everything's moving by so quickly. It's so close, already_.

What was I doing then? I didn't have time to be embarrassed, not anymore.

"L…"

He stirred beside me; his dark ringed eyes found mine. "Yes?" he asked quietly.

'What's your favorite color?'

L actually blinked at the question, though it was the only sign of surprise at the question he showed, if he felt any. "I never really thought about it, but I suppose..." L's eyes drifted upward thoughtfully and his thumb found its way to the corner of his mouth. "...blue is nice."

I closed my eyes, furiously memorizing his words. "Ever...ever owned a pet?"

"Ah...a fish, once. But it died."

"How?"

I felt L pause and I opened my eyes. His face was so close to mine, our heads were nearly touching.

"I was only five at the time, so I didn't know better..." I almost snorted at that; I was fairly certain that no matter what age L was, he would still be able to outsmart me any day, "But I was under the impression that if something stayed too long underwater, it would drown. So..."

A wry grin wormed its way to my face; I thought I knew where this was going. "Heh... You mean to say you took it out, Ryuuzaki?"

L's face was solemn as he responded. "It was very unfortunate."

"Hah...I can tell." I racked my brain for another question, something that wasn't related to his identity as L so that he could answer. L watched me. "Alright...what's your favorite season?"

"Spring."

"Favourite snack?"

"Strawberry shortcake."

"Hobbies?"

I could swear that was a smirk I saw on his face. "Capoeira."

I chuckled weakly. "Right, of course."

There was a short period of silence in which I tried to commit all I'd heard and seen to memory, engraving it into my mind so I wouldn't forget in the last few minutes of life I had left—his expression, the sound of his voice, the deep dark wells of his eyes...

"These questions..."

My eyes, which had closed of their own accord, flew open at his words.

"What are they?"

I shook my head slowly. "Just...some things I've always wanted to know about you. Is that so bad?"

"No...but it's not fair."

My eyebrows quirked upwards in confusion. "No?"

L steadily held my gaze. "You haven't let me ask any questions."

"Oh..."

L noticed my discomfort. "It's only one." he reassured me quietly.

"Okay. Shoot."

"What did you mean," he said, not looking at me, "when you said that I'd be getting my wish soon?"

My words from the roof. He'd remembered… "Nothing much," I lied. "Just that… well, you're right, Ryuuzaki. As always. You—the Task Force, I mean—don't need me around anymore. Now that I'm not a suspect, I should probably get going… get off your back, y'know…"

"That wasn't how I intended for you to take it," L interrupted me softly. "I wanted to know _why _you stayed. Was it just because of your desire to capture Kira? Or was it something… else that made you want to stay?"

_He knows. He knows what I…how I feel…_

As his eyes bored into mine I couldn't look away. He knew, he must have known or else he wouldn't be asking me that question—I loved him. I loved this strange, pale man in front of me, this wannabe panda… he had realized in a split second what it had taken me endless, agonizing days to comprehend…but how? How could he? Had I ever displayed something besides disgust at the detective before today?

It took me a second to realize that L had begun speaking again.

"I understand if you wish to leave, of course," he said quietly. "I will not stop you. But if you do choose to stay…"

"It's not my choice, L!" I shouted at him suddenly; the hall echoed my voice so that I was surrounded with a chorus of anger. _It's not my choice…it's not my choice…_

All of a sudden the fear that I had thought I had overcome swept through me like a flood; dizzy, I put my head between my knees and took in sharp, gasping breaths. My skin was glazed with a thin sheen of clammy sweat. It did not matter now that L was watching me, all that filled my mind was the endless, incessant thought: _I am going to die._

I groaned into my arms. The trembling had spread from my hands to my entire body, and I wrapped my arms around my knees to suppress it. _It's too soon, it's too soon…! I don't want to die, please, don't make me…_

I flinched at an unexpectedly warm touch at the small of my back and I raised my head disbelievingly.

"It's alright." L murmured very close to me, his hand rubbing small, comforting circles on my back. "Everything's alright, it's fine…"

This had to be one of the exceptionally rare times L was wrong.

"It's okay…"

Yet his voice comforted me, calmed me. The shaking slowly began to subside and I was still once more under his feather-light touch. My mind cleared; I remembered what I had to do. But still…

Just a few more minutes, though… just a little more time with him was all I really wanted now… was that so bad?

"Don't answer it." I whispered.

L's faint eyebrows drew upwards in confusion. "Wh—" he began, but he was cut off by the high pitched ringing of the cellphone he carried in the back pocket of his jeans.

He gave me a long, long look before abruptly standing up and answering; I avoided his stare.

"Yes?"

Okay. Okay, I could do this. It would be over soon.

"I understand. I'm on my way." L finished his brief conversation, snapping the phone shut with a tiny 'click'. I could feel his eyes on me, but my gaze remained focused on my lap. "It seems everything's gone well."

I nodded heavily and stood up on cement-block legs.

L paused. "Will you be alright?"

_Would I?_

"Yes…" I said, and it wasn't just L I was trying to convince. "Yes, I'll be fine."

* * *

><p><strong>3:41 p.m.<strong>

The sound of our footfalls echoed rapidly in the corridor we walked now, on our way to the main room of the investigation building, where the other members of the Kira Task Force were gathered.

Mostly we walked in silence, both of us too caught up in our own thoughts to be bothered to start a conversation. And also probably because we realized the futileness of it all.

I cracked a dry smile.

Actually, the situation was fairly hilarious on some level—we were brooding the same thing, I knew that for sure, but we both knew not to tell the other of it, of our imminent (or in L's case, _presumed_ imminent) death.

It was almost a competition, really. Who would fall first? Quite unfair, as I doubted that L realized there was another player in the game…

Abruptly my pace slowed, then came to a complete halt, some distance behind L. Appearing to sense my absence, L paused too and turned around, a silent question evident in his eyes.

"Ryuuzaki? Would it be okay if I left for the bathroom now?"

L regarded me seriously as I made my request. "Can it wait?"

"Do you really want to find out?"

A small sigh seemed to leave him then, and he reluctantly nodded his acquiescence. "That's fine. Please hurry, though."

"I'll do my best."

L's head turned sharply towards my retreating figure—he'd definitely caught the double intent in my sentence. But it was too late, I was almost at the end of the corridor.

" I'll meet you in the main room!" I called out, not turning around and I rounded the next corner, away from him.

Far behind me, L murmured, "Will you?"

* * *

><p><strong>3:42 p.m.<strong>

"_Will you?"_

L deliberated in front of the double doors that marked the entrance to the main room of the task force building, standing in his usual slouch as he stared unseeingly at the door.

_Something's not right here..._

His forehead creased slightly in a rare display of frustration as he replayed the last few minutes again in his head.

_I'll do my best_... there it was again, that double entendre just barely surfacing, half hidden in her words. Her best... in what?

L highly doubted that such a thing as a toilet break required such strenuous mental activity.

Voices sounded from behind the closed doors, numerous and agitated. It almost sounded like an argument- ah, Watari must've briefed them already, L reasoned. Particularly Matsuda could be heard above the others, high pitched and panicky. L sighed, barely audible in the silence of the corridor outside, and he tapped in the code on the keypad that granted him access to the room.

Like L expected, the other members of the Kira Task Force converged on him almost immediately.

"Ryuuzaki! What's the meaning of all this? You got approval from another country to use the notebook for an execution?" Matsuda seemed shocked to the point of anger and L addressed the main screen displaying the large, gothic 'W'. "Watari, excellent work, thank you."

"_Not at all._"

"First things first: please make arrangements to transport the notebook immediately," L said, climbing into his usual crouch on the chair that sat before the screen and picking up the tiny silver fork that lay next to a half eaten strawberry shortcake.

"_Yes, right away._"

"Ryuuzaki...what are you trying to do?" Light questioned him somewhere to his far left, and L saw the red glint flash through his eyes as he glanced fleetingly at the spongy white shinigami veiled by the room's shadows. _How sad_, L thought almost absentmindedly as he lightly tapped the fork he held between a thumb and forefinger against the plate in front of him. _To be killed by my very first friend_.

It was still raining.

"Ryuuzaki?"

The bells were getting louder.

Over the flurry of voices that called for L's attention in the main room, thunder crackled overhead. L spoke.

"I'm going to try out the notebook for real."

* * *

><p><strong>3:59 p.m.<strong>

Quietly, I let myself into the room and shut the door behind me. I hoped that L wasn't watching his surveillance cameras at the moment; he wouldn't like what he saw. This was nowhere near the bathroom.

Sighing, I paced the short distance across the room, avoiding the long, grey shelves that surrounded it. It was strangely cold and silent. I rubbed the back of my neck wearily as I slid down into a sitting position.

There was nothing else to do but wait.

* * *

><p><strong>4:02 p.m.<strong>

The whole room was in a state of disbelieving shock, L noted. Aizawa in particular.

"We can't do that!" the bushy haired man argued, taking shaking but determined steps towards the detective. "And there's no point in testing it now, now that we know the notebook's power is real!"

"And besides, who's going to write the name?" Matsuda put in his two cents as well. "If someone starts writing in the notebook, they'll have to obey the 13 day rule and keep writing names _forever_!"

"It's already been worked out," L replied calmly, not looking away from the numerous screens in front of him. "The person who will write in the book is a criminal scheduled to be executed in just over 13 days. If he's still alive, 13 days after writing the name, he'll be pardoned from execution."

_This is necessary_, L reminded himself as the shocked gasps made by the investigation team grew only louder at this announcement. _It is necessary to tell them everything_.

"But still..." Soichiro Yagami gasped out through a pale face, breathing heavily. L should've guessed he would object, what with his naturally stubborn nature and apparently innate sense of justice. "to sacrifice a life—"

"We're very close!" L ground out, _enough time was being wasted as it is_! Why couldn't they _see_...? "If we work this out, the entire case will be solved!"

For all the detective's observational skills however, somehow, the two gleaming ruby eyes of the Shinigami went unnoticed as she disappeared into the darkness.

And then the lights blacked out.

* * *

><p><strong>4:03 p.m.<strong>

I stared listlessly at the ceiling, still visible in the half-darkness, counting the fine cracks in the grey plaster. My hands were behind my head and my body was stretched out on cold, metal floor one foot propped casually over the other. I suppose under different circumstances, this position would be called 'relaxed'.

After a while, I grew bored of counting cracks and began to determine what the fine lines resembled: squinting, I saw a giraffe…a flower…an angel…

"_What are you doing here, Ariko Kimura?"_

A demon.

"Hello, Rem." I said, slowly sitting up to look up at the reptilian shinigami hovering above me. "You know, I think we had this exact same conversation a few days ago… not that you'd remember…"

Her luminous yellow eye flared brighter. "_You should not be here."_

"I want to make a deal." I looked at her directly. "Just between you and me. Human and shinigami."

"_Why should I?"_

"Because this deal will guarantee the survival of both Misa Amane and Light Yagami… and yourself." I tried to smile, but it came out as more of a grimace. "How does that sound?"

Rem was silent for some time, seeming to be lost in her own thoughts. When she next spoke her voice was harsher than her already rumbling bass. "_And what do you get in return?"_

"L will live," I said firmly. "And you, nor any other shinigami, will not write his name in the Death Note."

"_I cannot guarantee the actions of the others," _Rem said, drawing closer to me. _"But I will accept those terms only if L Lawliet will no longer investigate the actions of both Misa and Light Yagami._"

A rush of shock went through me as she said L's full name—Lawliet? Was that French? And his first name…I almost laughed. Hiding in plain sight. He really was brilliant…

Shaking my head, I forced myself to concentrate on the situation. "Deal."

"_You can promise me this?"_

"I swear it."

"_Then tell me how you plan on doing this…human."_

* * *

><p><strong>4:05 p.m.<strong>

The entire room was dark yet bathed in red, a trick of the light, L assumed. Around him, people were beginning to panic.

"What is this?" Matsuda cried, his voice pitched high in fear.

As if in response, the numerous screens surrounding them flashed a blank white; in bold black print, the words '_All data deletion_' flared on the screen. L froze; had the Shinigami already…?

"Data deletion?" Aizawa repeated, staring at the screens with a strange mix of confusion and dread. "What the hell's going on?"

"I told Watari…" The words seemed to slip through L's numb lips of their own accord, "to make sure that he erased all information in the event that something would happened to him."

Although L's eyes were still fixed steadily on the screen in front of him, he could feel the curly haired man's burning, accusing stare against his back. "If something were to happen…" Aizawa repeated faintly.

Matsuda gasped, and L could feel his thoughts running in the same direction as his own, albeit at a much slower pace. "Could it be…?"

"Where is she?" L suddenly felt very cold as soon as the words flew out of his mouth, his voice hoarse.

"Huh?"

"_Where's Riko-san_?" L snapped out to the disoriented men stumbling around him in the dark.

Light gasped, and for a disturbingly irrational moment, L debated between strangling the _poor_ honey eyed teen or simply kicking his ass into oblivion right there, but he grit his teeth and bit harshly into his thumb . "The—the shinigami's disappeared too!"

"I knew it!" Aizawa roared, pointing a finger at the screens, as if in accusation. "It's her! She's Kira!"

Matsuda's eyes widened and he bit his lip worriedly as he frowned, also still looking at the screens. "Was she the one who tripped the alarm…?

A tremendous feeling of unease suddenly gripped L and he clutched the arms of his chair, tensing. _Something's wrong, this isn't right…_

"I don't understand…" he murmured, barely a whisper but Aizawa caught it and scowled at him, crossing his arms over his chest as he moved over so that he was right in front of him.

"Like hell you don't, Ryuuzaki!" he yelled, his face going red from the effort and eyebrows moving like caterpillars on his face. "I don't know why I listened to you about this for so long; I'm gunna find her before she kills the rest of us!" L watched as Aizawa began to stride purposefully towards the door and L felt the same sense of panic—sharper this time—grab him again.

"Aizawa-san!"

Matsuda hovered, torn between the door and the other people in the room and L saw uncertainty flicker through his dark eyes. Finally, he made his decision, taking one last glance at the detective before following his colleague's direction. "Wait, you can't go by yourself!"

That left Soichiro and Light, L noted, watching the two look uncertainly back at him. L didn't say anything.

Then Light spoke, as usual, low and persuasive, "Ryuuzaki… we have to stop her." Red glimmered in his eyes. "She killed Wat—"

"Yes, I know." L cut him off there, abruptly feeling very, very tired. This was enough. This was too much. He stood up suddenly and Light took a step back in surprise, a slight frown gracing his face as he attempted to decipher L's latest variation of an unreadable expression. "Come on then, Light-kun."

Red, again, but this time L ignored it.

_The bells…_

He still heard them. Louder than ever, beating against his eardrums. But as they left the room, it suddenly dawned upon L:

They weren't ringing for him.

* * *

><p><strong>4:11 p.m.<strong>

The Death Note lay in front of me, Watari's name gleaming upon its yellowed pages in bright crimson. I didn't have a pen with me, but I did have the old penknife I carried around through force of habit. Rem had assured me that the writing instrument would not affect anything so long as the words were legible.

" 'Quilish Wammy', huh?" I said, trying to stifle the familiar echoes of guilt and fear; my heart was pounding a violent tattoo against my ribs. "So he _was_ English after all…"

"_I can hear them coming,_" Rem said. She was a terrible partner for a conversation. "_You have already created evidence against yourself. You do not need to continue this."_

Shaking the hand I had cut to keep the blood flowing from the wound I shook my head. "No, trust me, I do. You should leave now, Rem. You'll distract them."

The skeletal shinigami nodded curtly and began to phase through the opposite wall.

"Rem?" She stopped, only half her body visible. I paused. "Thank you."

"She's in here! I just saw her on the surveillance camera!"

I cringed as Aizawa's voice rang through the hall outside, sounding strangely magnified in the small room I occupied. I looked back at the wall: Rem was gone. Outside, the others' footsteps gradually joined Aizawa's and I knew L wouldn't be far behind.

I looked down at the notebook in front of me and gripped it with shaking hands, unfolding myself shakily from the floor and standing up. _I always wanted to die on my feet…_

Using my fingers, wet with my still flowing blood, I began to dawdle, gently—almost lovingly—tracing in the first two letters of L's real name.

_L-A—_

The heavy metal door of the room burst open with a bang and I recoiled at the sound and the sudden light that flashed painfully into my eyes. One of them must have brought a torch.

"Ri—_Riko-san?_" Matsuda's voice, disbelieving. Betrayal was etched in every line of his features.

"She's writing in the Death Note!" Aizawa bellowed. It suddenly occurred to me that I was faintly annoyed. Why weren't they doing anything? Why were they just standing there?

In a sudden movement, I bent down over the page and scrawled in another letter.

W—

"Mmph!"

My hand was pulled by an invisible string in the opposite direction; I dropped the notebook. Only when I saw the pulsing rush of crimson from my arm that I realized I had just been shot; I had never known Matsuda had such good aim.

Falling to my knees, I crawled towards the notebook, grunting as I pushed my injured hand out…I grit my teeth. _Nearly over…_

"Ah-!"

Fire! Fire all over, pushing through my body like a train—

(_ohGod)_

-the dull slam of my back against the cold metal floor knocking the breath out of me—

(_ohGodithurts)_

-lights bursting in front of my eyes, the searing heat in my chest and my stomach—

(_ithurtssomuchmakeitstop)_

-the sick, dizzying smell of copper, of my own blood—

(_makeitstopplease)_

A face, hovering above my own, all ink and snow and the scent of strawberries. His hand gently supporting the back of my head as he knelt by my side.

"Ryu-u-za-ki! What-re-y-ou-doi-ng?"

A distorted question.

I stared into the black pits of his eyes even as the copper erupted from my mouth, never looking away. The situation was so familiar, except this time it was _me_ in his arms, and _my_ heart that was counting its last beats. And now that I was here, I realized that this wasn't so bad after all… even the pain seemed to be fading away…

"L…" the words were a gurgle.

Long, cold fingers stroked the sweaty, locks of hair away from my face and I struggled to speak, crying and laughing all at the same time.

"…did you know…"

His eyes were grey. Grey, not black. Remember.

"…gods of death…"

Remember.

**A/N: So, quite a long chapter. Review, please? The next chapter will look at the first time L died—before she started replaying. I'm looking forward to writing it!**

**Thanks for reading (and if you have time, please check out my other story on a different account—my penname backwards! It's in the Harry Potter fandom and it's a Tom Riddle Jr. x OC fic).**


	2. Rewind

**Disclaimer: **No… still don't own it…

**A/N: **Here's the second chapter! This was extremely fun to write, so I hope you enjoy it as much as I have!

* * *

><p><strong>November 5, 2004. 3:20 a.m.<strong>

_Ring. Ring._

Little by little, my eyes opened slowly, dimly registering the pale grey sunlight filtering through the curtains across from me.

_Ring. Ring._

Rolling over onto my side, I slowly reached over to the small digital alarm clock sitting on the nightstand, switching it off. Silence filled the room, abruptly thick and smothering.

_Who was the idiot,_ I thought, _who set my alarm at freaking three in the morning?_

* * *

><p><strong>9:37 a.m.<strong>

I yawned widely as I stretched out on one of the long couches next to the windows of the room. It was raining today, and the uneven beat of the pulsing water irked me a little. Putting my arms behind my head I watched the other members of the Kira Task Force continue working from across the room. Despite the overall grave atmosphere, I could tell that the work was half-hearted: Mogi was staring through the window outside for increasingly longer periods of time, Aizawa was fiddling absentmindedly with his newly shorn hair—even Light could be caught playing a game or two of solitaire on his screen at intervals. And I… I all but proclaimed my uselessness today, lounging around on the sofa.

With Higuchi's arrest and then sudden death, and the emergence of a new Kira, no one was in the mood to do anything.

I suppose it was just one of those days. Easily forgettable.

Closing my eyes, I turned over in my seat as I willed myself back to sleep.

* * *

><p><strong>12:12 p.m.<strong>

The sound of the twin doors of the room opening woke me up with a start. It had been so quiet in here, excluding the murmuring rain outside, that the light thud had been enough to bring me back to consciousness. Groaning slightly, I sat up.

"Kurazaki-san, do you mind helping me with this?" Matsuda asked me as he entered, carrying a stack of paperwork tall enough to muffle his voice.

"Do I have to?" I said, eyeing the stack warily. "Where'd you get that from, anyway?"

"Ryuuzaki," he said miserably. With some difficulty, he dumped it on the coffee table next to my couch; it wobbled dangerously. "He told me to sort it out…"

"Ryuuzaki can do his own dirty work. Where is he, anyway? I don't think I've seen him stuff his face with cake today—now I _know _something's up…" I sneered.

"You don't like Ryuuzaki, do you Riko-san?" Light said from across the room, solitaire game abandoned.

"No, I don't."

Light smiled, amused. I noticed it didn't reach his eyes. "I'd forgotten… why is that?"

"I suppose there's just something immediately dislikable about a man who puts you in 50 days confinement based on a hunch," I replied lazily. "Obviously, you're a better person than I, Light-kun. Or at least you have a better temper…he still thinks you're Kira, doesn't he?"

His face darkened. "Yeah, he does."

"Ryuuzaki's too stubborn for his own good," Aizawa joined in with a surly expression. "The thirteen-day rule at the back of Higuchi's Death Note _proves_ that Light-kun and Amane-san are innocent. I don't get why L still insists—"

Outside, thunder boomed suddenly and we all jumped.

"Damn, I hate rain," I muttered, standing up. "I'm gunna go for a walk around the building. Maybe have a heart to heart chat with the Shinigami or something…"

"Rem?" Light said sharply. "Why would you—"

"I'm joking." I rolled my eyes. "Even when we were at To-oh, you couldn't recognize a joke if it stripped naked in front of you and used you as a human pole, Light-kun."

Light grimaced, already too used to me to look scandalized anymore. The same could not be said for his father beside him.

Matsuda wore a defeated expression. "I guess I'll have to sort these out by myself, then…"

I saluted them as I left the room, closing the doors shut behind me.

The entire building seemed strangely quiet now that I was away from the warm centre of things. Eerie, even. I toddled around aimlessly for a while, not really heading in any particular direction. I lost track of time: I could have been walking for hours or minutes. Soon I found myself completing circuits: I had passed that door for the third time, gone down this hallway for the fifth…

It was a relief to be alone. Truly alone, I mean—not monitored like a strange bacteria in a petri dish by some creepy detective-slob. Now that Kira—or at least one of them—was caught, I had some lee-way in regards to surveillance… I could leave the Task Force Headquarters for short intervals, I could walk around the building without Aizawa or Mogi following me. I think they were kind of relieved too, when L had loosened up.

I grit my teeth. _L._

That stupid title, that stupid letter—who the hell names themselves after the only non-existent letter in the Japanese alphabet?—that had ruined my single shot at attending a decent university. It had been a complete accident in how I had led him to suspect that I was one of the Kiras, but of course, being L, he didn't believe my frantic justifications. Yes, I was in Aoyama on the day the Second Kira contacted the First. Yes, I had known Light before that day; we went to To-oh together. Yes, I liked to eat apples—_no, I did not have red hands!_ How was that in any way even _related_ to Kira?

I sighed irritably. At least it would be over soon, the Kira Investigation. Now that the one of them had been caught, surely, it wouldn't be long until—

"Oh! Sorry!" I apologized to Watari, having collided with him while rounding a corner. "Are you alright?"

"Perfectly fine," he said, rubbing the top of his head. "I do apologize, I'm afraid my mind has been rather… occupied, lately."

I made a quick bow before I walked past; abruptly, I stopped.

"Um… Watari-san?" I said tentatively; I don't think I had ever properly addressed him until now. "Do you know where Ryuuzaki is? I'd like to speak to him…"

Something in the old man's face shut down and he gave me a strained smile. "I believe… he should be up on the roof, Kurazaki-san."

I blinked. "The roof? In this weather?"

Watari merely bowed before walking away. I stared at his retreating figure thoughtfully. _The roof… well, he was odd enough already. What's another eccentricity to add to the pile?_

I found the stairs that led to the roof after retracing several of my earlier paths and stopped when I saw L drying himself off with a towel at the top of the stairs. _There you are._

"Hey Ryuuzaki!"

Slowly, he turned to look at me, his face unreadable. The hand on the towel fell down by his side and the fluffy yellow accessory shifted as he inclined his head towards me in polite acknowledgement.

I strode across the long hall, my chin held stubbornly up. I had come prepared for an argument. "I've got a bone to pick with you…"

I skipped up the stairs while L watched me warily. "Do you still think that I'm Kira?" I demanded, halting only a few steps below him.

He stared at me, black eyes boring into my own. I always hated the color of his eyes—they were such a flat, two dimensional color. Like something you would find on the painted face of a doll. "There is only a 0.002% chance that you are." he recited dully.

"Right… so… that's a no, then?"

He nodded.

"Then why am I still here?" I burst out, unable to control the sudden rush of resentment I felt. "Why am I still in this build—"

"You're free to go."

"I—what?" I must have misheard him.

"You're free to go," he repeated, this time enunciating each syllable of the sentence so that I couldn't possibly miss it. I gaped at him.

"I can… leave?" He didn't reply and I actually took a step back, reeling. I knew I should have been happy… but there was still a small, petty part of me that was annoyed to have gotten her way so quickly. And it was strange that L didn't even attempt to put up a fight…

"Okay… well, erm, thanks," I said uncomfortably. L turned away from me and resumed drying his shaggy hair. Not knowing whether to leave or not, I watched him for a moment and when I did a slight crease formed between my brows. Had he always been that… hunched? I knew he had bad posture, but today… today it seemed like the entire world was on his shoulders, and he was barely managing to carry it. I opened my mouth to say something but thought better of it.

Shaking my head, I walked down the stairs and headed for the room that held the rest of the members of the Kira Task Force, leaving L far behind me.

* * *

><p><strong>3:36 p.m.<strong>

I entered the room to find everyone else in the state of lethargy I had left them in earlier, although Matsuda looked considerably more distressed.

"I still have four piles to go through…" he moaned, staring at the stacks of paperwork in front of him which had appeared to have not lessened in my absence.

"Where did you go, Riko-san?" Light asked me quietly, not taking his eyes of his computer as he typed.

I sat down on one of the armchairs around the long coffee table in the middle of the room. "I went to see Ryuuzaki."

The clickity clackity sound his fingers made on the keyboard faltered as he paused. "Where was he?"

"On the roof." I snorted.

From across the room, Aizawa frowned in distaste. "Is he crazy? It's pouring out there!"

"Yeah, he looked like a drowned rat when I caught up to him. Anyway… he said that I could go. That I could leave…y'know, the Task Force."

Silence momentarily filled the room; I cleared my throat.

"That's…great, Kurazaki-san!" Matsuda said with a huge smile. "You can do whatever you want now and you can go back to To-oh!"

Light, always the perceptive one, noticed that my returning smile was rather half-hearted.

"Do you want to leave the Task Force?" he asked me quietly.

"I…"

"_This is Watari."_

The sudden boom of Watari's voice through the speakers and the reappearance of the white screen bearing the gothic 'W' on each of the computer monitors saved me from answering. "_Ryuuzaki would like you all to congregate in the main room."_

"What for, Watari-san?" Soichiro Yagami asked tiredly, taking off his glasses.

"_All will be explained once you reach there."_ The screen flickered off.

"Typical Ryuuzaki," I muttered, standing up. "Drama queen."

"It's gotta be something important, if he's asking us to all be there," Matsuda said excitedly. "Maybe he has a lead on the real Kira!"

"Maybe…" I wasn't convinced. When I chanced a glance at Light, I saw his expression was unreadable.

We all trooped down to the double doors of the main room, and when we entered we saw Watari's insignia flashing black and white on all of the many monitors that filled the room. A quite hush fell over our small group, before Soichiro Yagami put forward the question we'd all been wondering.

"Why are we here, Watari-san?"

"_Ryuuzaki has asked me to brief you on the current situation involving the Death Note." _A pause. _"He has received approval from the United States to use the notebook to execute a mass murderer."_

There was a split second's silence, and then:

"_What?" _Aizawa roared, above the shouting of the others. "He's going to _use_ the notebook? That's—"

"—insane!" Matsuda cut in. "He can't do that, it's murder!"

"He's gotta stop treating other people like pawns in his sick game—"

"—he's no better than Kira if he does this—"

The double doors opened behind us, and there he was, the devil himself, hunch backed and raccoon eyed as always. He entered the room slowly, almost unwillingly.

And with good reason too, for the Task Force converged on him before he even took two steps.

"Ryuuzaki! What's the meaning of all this? You got approval from another country to use the notebook for an execution?" Matsuda looked stunned. L swept past him, addressing the main screen with Watari's symbol.

"Watari, excellent work, thank you."

"_Not at all._"

"First things first: please make arrangements to transport the notebook immediately," L said, climbing into his usual crouch on the chair that sat before the screen and picking up the tiny silver fork that lay next to a half eaten strawberry shortcake.

"_Yes, right away._"

"Ryuuzaki, you can't do this!" I argued. "The notebook works, you know it does! Higuchi confessed to it himself! We don't _need _to do this!"

But he ignored my protests, absentmindedly tapping the fork he held between his thumb and forefinger on the plate in front of him. "I have to, Ariko-san…"

"_What are you talking about, L?"_ I shouted at him. It was irrational to continue raising my voice, especially as he was only a few feet away from me but I couldn't help myself. Hot panic that seemed to have no origin was ripping through my body like a whip and his stupid double entendres weren't making anything better. Not for the first time, I wished he would speak plainly.

Much to my intense horror, I received my wish.

"I'm going to try out the notebook for real."

I reeled, taking a step backwards from him. "You…wha-?"

Aizawa barreled past me, face turning a very unpleasant shade of red. "There's no point in testing in now, Ryuuzaki, now that we know the notebook's power is real!"

"And besides, who's going to write the name?" Matsuda put in his two cents as well. "If someone starts writing in the notebook, they'll have to obey the 13 day rule and keep writing names _forever_!"

"It's already been worked out," L replied calmly, not looking away from the numerous screens in front of him. "The person who will write in the book is a criminal scheduled to be executed in just over 13 days. If he's still alive, 13 days after writing the name, he'll be pardoned from execution."

"But still..." Soichiro Yagami gasped out, moving beside me, his face pale with exertion,"to sacrifice a life—"

"We're very close!" I knew I wasn't the only one who jumped at the sudden rise in volume of L's voice; it was now an uncharacteristic bark. "If we work this out, the entire case will be solved!"

Abruptly the lights gave out, plunging us into a strange red darkness. Blinded, I fumbled around with a hand to grab the desk on which most of the computers in the room sat on and rubbed my eyes furiously, trying to make them adjust to the lack of light. "What the…"

Suddenly, the screens flashed white; in bold black print, the words '_All data deletion_' flared on the screen.

"Data deletion?" Aizawa repeated, staring at the screens with a strange mix of confusion and dread. "What the hell's going on?"

"I told Watari… to make sure that he erased all information in the event that something would happen to him." I looked at L. He was staring at the main screen with wide eyes; it made him look strangely child-like.

"If something were to happen…" Aizawa repeated faintly.

"The shinigami…" I murmured uncertainly. "The shinigami… do you know where it is?"

"I don't see it!"

"It disappeared!"

"What's going on?"

I hid a sigh of relief when L began speaking again; though I hated to admit it, I felt better knowing that he would give orders that we would follow, that he would get control of this situation. "Everyone, the shinigami—"

My fists were already balled at my sides, ready to follow whatever he said to do. I waited for him to finish his sentence. "Hurry up, Ryuuza—"

The sound of something small and metallic hitting the floor cut me off; I looked down an saw the silver spoon L had been using clattering to stop at my feet. I blinked, uncomprehending.

"L…?"

And then he was falling, falling in front of me like something set in slow motion; I saw too clearly how his body fell through the air in a disturbingly graceful arc. No sound seemed to exist; everything was silent except for the pounding of my blood in my ears as I watched, frozen.

_Somebody catch him,_ I thought wildly, _the floor's too hard, somebody, catch him…!_

Suddenly it wasn't just L, but Light falling too and it was as if somebody had turned up the volume again. They landed, inches away from my feet and I stared.

"Ryuuzaki? What's wrong?" Matsuda cried out.

_Shut up! Can't you see, he's about to say something important…?_

L's eyes, those great and unblinking painted eyes that I despised with every fiber of my being, slid closed. It occurred to me that I had never seen them shut before. He could almost have been asleep…

"Hey, Ryuuzaki, what're you doing?" Light's voice was shaking. "Get a hold of yourself!"

"What is it?" Light's father asked. "What happened?"

It was only when Light began to scream that I understood.

Soichiro Yagami's face paled. "Calm down, Light!"

"It's going to kill us!" Light screamed, brown eyes wild. "Watari-san, Ryuuzaki…after them, us!"

The men in the room gasped: Aizawa stumbled backwards onto his knees, Matsuda threw up his hands over his head as if waiting for a blow that would strike him at any moment. I stared at L's corpse.

Silence fell over the room and the others gradually unfolded themselves from their protective positions, looking around in confusion.

"Dammit…Shinigami, where are you?" Light was shouting again, his hands still clutching onto L's shoulders. "Show yourself!"

Soichiro looked shocked; I doubted he had ever seen his son lose it quite this badly before. "Light!"

Light stood up, leaving L's body on the ground, and took shaky, unsteady steps towards the center of the room. He didn't even seem to notice the others now, speaking only to a presence he alone could sense. "I know you're up to something! Show yourself!"

He slammed the twin doors open, and began to run in the hallway outside. His father and Matsuda followed him. Of the people left behind, Aizawa was the first to break the ensuing silence.

"I'm going to search too," he said heavily. "Mogi-kun, take care of him. Riko-san—"

"I'm coming with you."

Aizawa faltered, as if debating whether or not to let me, but he nodded. "Okay. Let's go."

* * *

><p><strong>4:11 p.m.<strong>

We stopped at a room I'd never visited before: it was quite small, longer than it was wide, with grey metal shelves that lined the walls. The voices issuing from inside told us that the others were already in there.

"Whatever happened… I will definitely avenge Ryuuzaki," Light was saying as we entered. "For the sake of Watari and the other victims—"

I nudged Aizawa. "Is that sand?" I asked quietly, nodding at strange, glittering mound in the center of the room.

Aizawa shook his head slowly. "I don't know."

"Light!" Soichiro gasped, staring at his son. He must have said something shocking again. Beside me, Aizawa nodded fervently.

"That's right, Light-kun. We _will _avenge them."

"Yes, but we'll definitely be killed!" Matsuda said, looking up at the others from his kneeling position by the pile of sand. "Wasn't this an omen?"

"Matsuda-san, if you're too afraid of dying, then please leave this team," Light's voice was cold, emotionless. "Only people willing to risk their lives to catch Kira should work here."

"He's right," I spoke up suddenly; everyone swiveled around to face me. "Only people willing to risk their lives _should_ stay in the building… that's why I have to get as far away from here as possible."

"Kurazaki-san!" Soichiro Yagami exclaimed. "You can't leave now, not when Ryuuzaki just…!"

"I don't wanna die, Yagami-san!" I said sharply. "You all have your reasons to stay here. You all believe in justice. Me? I didn't even care about whether or not Kira was _doing the right thing _by killing criminals until I was forced here by L!" I took a step back, shaking my head. "I might've been uncertain about leaving earlier, but I've made up my mind now. I don't wanna end up like Ryuuzaki. I want out. I want to leave the Task Force."

Light nodded curtly. "That's fine, Riko-san."

"Light…!"

"We can't force her to stay, Dad. Ryuuzaki himself said she was free to go, and she's made here choice." Soichiro faltered and then sighed. "Matsuda-san, do you mind calling a cab for Riko-san? It would be best if she left today."

"S-sure, Light-kun…" Throwing one last glance at me, Matsuda left the room.

"I guess I won't be seeing you at To-oh anymore, Light-kun?" I said.

He shook his head with a tight smile. "No, I don't think so."

* * *

><p><strong>4:28 p.m.<strong>

"Your cab's here, Kurazaki-san."

"Thanks Matsuda-san." I stood up and looked around at the others in the room, who were watching me go. "You all take care, alright?"

No one replied, then Soichiro gave a strained smile. "You too, Kurazaki-san."

I waved as I left the room, glad to be rid of the gloomy atmosphere. I walked with Matsuda without speaking to the building's exit. His silence did not bother me; I was glad to have some time to take one last look around the building. This was the hallway where I once snapped at L for leaving cake everywhere. That was the room I where I punched L in the face for the very first time in a fit of adolescent anger… I had expected him to retaliate, like he did with Light, but…

"_I'm sorry, Riko-san."_

That was the bathroom I cried in after he had said that to me.

It annoyed me very, very much that all my memories of the place seemed entirely composed of L. I wouldn't have a single good memory to take back home with me. I oughta find him right now and—

"Oh!"

Matsuda glanced at me from two steps down; I lingered at the top. "Kurazaki-san?"

I'd forgotten. How could I have forgotten he was dead? "It's nothing."

To my horror my eyes a stinging, prickling sensation erupted from behind my eyes; my vision blurred, colors swam in front of me. I refused to blink, to wipe the moisture away—_I can't let Matsuda see that I'm crying,_ was my stupid, prideful reasoning. _Especially over _Ryuuzaki._ I could make it down these stairs without seeing them, I just have to hold onto the railing—_

My foot slipped and my hand clutched at empty air before I remembered that the staircase leading to main entrance didn't have a bar to hold onto. And then I was falling too.

"Kurazaki-san!"

My head collided painfully with the cold ground and I blacked out.

**A/N: It was fun to write Ariko's personality shift here: she's more cocky, more arrogant than in the first chapter. **

**So, things are slowly revealing themselves... **

**Thanks for the reviews! I think most of your questions were answered in this chapter, and if not, they'll probably be answered in the future ones…More detail will occur regarding certain events the more times she replays.**

**Also: Ariko knew Light because he went to To-oh with her. They aren't friends, but she remembered his face from one of her classes. Actually, she should still be probably calling him 'Yagami-kun' but she doesn't really care about etiquette regarding her fellow students…**

**Thanks for reading! And **_**please **_**review, seriously…**


	3. Play

**Disclaimer: **Yeah…no.

**A/N: **I rather like this chapter. Sorry for the lateness.

* * *

><p><strong>November 5, 2004. 3:20 a.m.<strong>

_Ring. Ring._

Little by little, my eyes opened slowly, dimly registering the pale grey sunlight filtering through the curtains across from me.

_Ring. Ring._

Rolling over onto my side, I slowly reached over to the small digital alarm clock sitting on the nightstand, switching it off. Silence filled the room, abruptly thick and smothering.

_This feels…_ I thought, _strangely familiar…_

* * *

><p><strong>6:13 a.m.<strong>

I woke up again with a start, flailing in bed. My pyjamas were sticky with sweat; they clung almost obscenely to my skin.

Slowly, I sat up and put my head in my hands. Something persistent was buzzing at the back of my mind, urging me to remember… yesterday? What had happened yesterday? Yesterday… L had died. Watari had died. And something else…

I gasped and my hands flew to the back of my head, probing for any lumps or contusions. I had fallen down an entire flight of stairs and yet, miraculously, I didn't appear to be injured…

I rolled my shoulders, testing my joints and did the same with my legs. I was fine. Perfectly so; I had barely an ache in my body. I breathed a sigh of relief and stood up.

I showered and dressed as quickly as possible, having also remembered that yesterday was supposed to be the day I left the Task Force permanently. It was a cheerless thought. I knew I'd miss the extra company… there wouldn't exactly be a welcoming parade of people for me when I returned home, after all.

_Well, Riko,_ I told myself firmly, _you should count your blessings. At least you're no longer under suspicion of being one of the Kiras, right?_

For some reason, this thought did not quite cheer me up as it would have yesterday.

* * *

><p><strong>6:28 p.m.<strong>

Voices echoed downstairs, surprising me enough so that I paused half way down the staircase I had plummeted off yesterday. It sounded like the whole Task Force was down there. I would have thought they'd have taken a break, what with recent events and all.

I inched myself another step down. And another. I was being extra careful today—the seat of my jeans did not leave the ground.

"Kurazaki-san!"

I jumped. "Matsuda-san…"

He was beaming, grinning as he watched me slide down the stairs. "I've never seen you awake so early before!"

"Er…yeah." I felt very uncomfortable—why was he still smiling? I hadn't thought anyone _could_, not after Ryuuzaki's death. "Erm… d'you mind giving me a hand?"

"What are you doing?" he asked me curiously as he moved towards me, extending a hand which I grabbed gratefully. I walked down the last few steps of the staircase before I let go.

"I didn't want to repeat yesterday."

"Yesterday?"

I stared at him, thinking he was joking around. He wasn't; his brown doe-eyes were looking back at me with perfect sincerity. "I fell. Remember?"

_He can't have possibly forgotten, _I thought. _He was right there when it happened._

"You _fell_? Are you alright?" His eyes were wide with concern now. "What happened?"

"Matsuda-san… _you were right next to me…_"

Matsuda frowned. "Are you feeling okay today, Kurazaki-san?"

"I…" Maybe I'd dreamed it. Maybe I'd just fallen asleep on one of the couches or something, and none of the other members of the Task Force had had the heart to wake me up, to make me take the cab. But…

I could remember it. I could remember the explosion of pain in my head, white-hot and searing as it smacked the floor. Could I _really_ have dreamt all of that? "Er… never mind. What's everyone doing down here?" I changed the topic hurriedly.

"Huh? Oh, just our normal briefing of the day's activities. You know, if you woke up earlier, you'd know about all this by now…"

I chuckled uneasily. "Yeah, you're right."

Why was he so cheerful?

When he stopped by the double doors that led to the main room and leaned down to punch in the code, I stared at him. "We're going in _there_?"

Surprised, he looked back at me, his hand hovering over the keypad. "We always go in here, Kurazaki-san…"

"I know, but… so soon?" Panic was rising in me like a twisted tide; I suddenly felt light-headed and dizzy.

"Kurazaki-san… are you _sure_ you're feeling okay?"

"I…" The doors slid open and Light was suddenly in front of us. He looked surprised to see me.

"Oh, Riko-san." Relief rushed through me; Light was here, reliable, responsible, boring Light. I knew I could depend on him to be the only one acting normal around here, to tell me to call another cab, and to make me leave as quickly as possible because I was no longer part of the Task Force. "You're up early today."

"Yes!" I said eagerly. "I'm sorry for not taking the cab you called for me yesterday, Light-kun—I must have fallen asleep, or…something…"

His brow furrowed. "A cab? When was this?"

My breath stuck in my throat and my eyes bugged. I was vaguely aware of Matsuda's uncomfortable shuffling next to me. "You don't…you don't remember?"

"Kurazaki-san's not feeling well today, Light-kun," Matsuda interrupted nervously. "She says she had a pretty bad fall yesterday, it might've messed up her head a bit…"

Light chuckled. "Is there any difference?"

"There's nothing wrong with my head!" I snapped at him. "What is _up_ with you guys? Have you completely forgotten that yesterday was the day Ryuuzaki—"

"Riko-san, I'm glad that you've decided to start waking up earlier but I'm afraid I'll have to start sedating you if this becomes a regular thing."

Every muscle in my body froze, locked down at the sound of that devastatingly familiar monotone. I didn't move—no, I _couldn't _move. It was only when a strange ringing began in my ears and colorful spots bloomed across my vision that I realized I had also stopped breathing. I drew in a breath shakily.

"Kurazaki-san, you really don't look…"

"Don't…" I slurred and I passed out.

* * *

><p><strong>8:05 a.m.<strong>

"You're dead."

"I can assure you, not yet."

"But… you're dead."

"I am not."

"Are so."

"Riko-san!" Light said from across the room, clearly exasperated with the conversation that seemed to be going nowhere between L and I. "Stop being ridiculous. Ryuuzaki is standing right in front of you."

"How do you know that?" I shot back at him. "For all you know, you could be having the same sick dream I am."

"Kira-kun is becoming quite outspoken in her fantasies, isn't she?" L commented mildly and I snarled.

"Don't you dare bring up that Kira crap, Ryuuzaki!" I shifted my position on the couch so that I was more upright, propped against the pillow behind me. "You told me yourself that I was cleared of all suspicions!"

"I can't remember when—"

"That's because you're dead!"

"Enough!" thundered Aizawa, standing up and stomping angrily towards us. "I'm sick of hearing the same morbid garbage from you two! Kurazaki-san, does Ryuuzaki _look _dead to you?"

I eyed L's pallid skin, his heavily ringed, slightly bulging eyes and shock of uncombed black hair with distaste. "Well, if you're asking…"

"Riko-san, you must have had a bad dream," Light tried reasoning with me. "There's no other possible explanation for it."

"Yes, Kira-kun must have been too caught up in her fantasy to realize," L piped up. "I myself have the same problem whenever I think of shortcake."

A short, awkward silence ensued.

"Fine," I mumbled. "Maybe… maybe I just ate something that disagreed with me yesterday… made me hallucinate or something…"

I stood up suddenly. "Ryuuzaki, do you mind if I take a short walk outside?" I asked him, my voice uncharacteristically polite. "I'd like to clear my mind a bit…"

L tilted his head to the side. "Unfortunately, Kira-kun… now that your Kira percentage has been raised…"

"That's unfair, L!" I burst out. "I _wasn't_ having a fantasy about you dying!"

"Come on, Ryuuzaki, that _is_ a bit unfair…" Light said and L sighed.

"Fine, then. You may leave the premises…" I grinned, "but only if you have supervision."

The grin turned into a grimace. "Fine, but I don't think Aizawa-san or Mogi-san will thank you very much, Ryuuzaki…"

"Oh, not them," L said, cocking his head to one side, his index finger resting on his lower lip. "Me."

* * *

><p><strong>8:16 a.m.<strong>

"Where would you like to go, Riko-san?"

I shrugged, keeping my eyes fixed morosely on the grey cement underneath my feet.

"Hmm… I'm afraid I don't know where that is…"

Pinching the bridge of my nose in irritation, I pointed at the nearest building. It was a café. "There."

The two of us were wandering aimlessly around the city streets closest to where the Kira building was (L refused to go beyond a set perimeter) and I was feeling extremely put out, to put it mildly. I needed a chance to clear my thoughts, to set the past 24 hours in a realistic perspective—and with L I knew that that wouldn't happen. It wasn't just the usual annoyance, either. It was…

I glanced at him and shivered.

I remembered how he had looked, so still and lifeless at my feet. His hideous eyes closed. Dead.

And yet he was here, standing, living, breathing, calculating beside me as if he hadn't a care in the world.

Had I really imagined it all?

"Let's not waste time then, Riko-san," L said without turning, already a few feet ahead of me. "I really would like to get back to the Task Force building soon."

"Nobody forced you to come…" I murmured half heartedly as I followed him.

Inside the café it was warm and cheerful, a distinct contrast to the cold grey weather outside. A blanket of friendly chatter and murmuring enveloped me and I forced myself to relax, like everyone else. I moved towards a secluded booth at the back of the coffee shop—something I knew L would appreciate—and sat down. L did the same in the seat across from me, drawing his knees up to his chest in his usual crouch. I wrinkled my nose and looked out the window next to me, slightly misted from the warm air inside.

"What can I getcha today?"

It was a waitress, snapping her gum as she looked at the two of us. One hand held a notepad and she was twirling a pencil in the other.

L, being the gentleman he was, ordered first. "I'll have the chocolate pudding, the caramel crème brulée, the strawberry tart and I think… a slice or five of that blueberry cheesecake."

The waitress blinked; her mouth moved open and closed without making a sound. "Er…"

"I'll just have the apple crumble, thanks," I said quickly, handing her our menus.

She nodded. "Right. Okay."

"Riko-san likes apples, does she not?" L said as the waitress left, muttering something about 'better be able to pay for this'. I tore my eyes away and looked at him in confusion.

"What…" I realized what he meant then and I gave him a sharp look. "Don't waste your time. I only picked it because it was the first thing I saw on the menu."

I ignored him after that, choosing instead to continue watching through the window. _Maybe it was a dream after all_, I thought, watching the crystalline droplets of water roll down the surface of the glass. _The L I saw yesterday—or in my head, whatever—seemed less cheerful, somehow. A little down. _

We sat in silence until the waitress came back with our orders, balancing several plates on both of her hands as she set them on the table. L immediately began to eat his sickeningly sweet dishes with a great amount of enthusiasm while I only picked at the small square of apple crumble on my plate.

_Of course I must have dreamed all of it,_ I thought, stabbing at the golden-brown crust of the dessert. _Because I know there'd be no way I'd still be alive after that fall… I suppose my wanting to get outta the Kira Headquarters must have manifested itself in my dreams. I must have imagined a situation in which I would be allowed to leave…a very vivid, realistic situation…_

"Riko-san isn't hungry?"

L cocked his head to one side across from me, strands of his hair falling across his face. There was a spot of cream on the corner of his cheek. Repulsed, I saw him begin to nibble in the crescent nail of his thumb.

"Why do you do that?" I said, not bothering to hide my revulsion. "It's disgusting, Ryuuzaki."

The corners of his mouth twitched slightly. "So you've told me… repeatedly."

I rolled my eyes and began to spoon some of the neglected apple crumble in my mouth. It was a bit too sweet for my taste, but otherwise fine. L wouldn't have any problem with it.

A rueful smile twisted my mouth as I ate.

When I had first learned that dear, sweet Hideki Ryuuga was L, I'd thought he was a complete joke. He wasn't in any of my classes, so I had no clue about his intellectual abilities—I'd only heard that he had been one of the freshman representatives, along with Light. But to be L…! It was like the golden idol had crashed down, scattering into pieces among its feet of clay before my very eyes.

Though I had only heard about L through that famous Lind L. Taylor broadcast, even I had been intrigued with what I saw. Even I, who couldn't care less about the law, or this whole _justice_ debate. And then to meet him, and know the truth—that _this_, this strange, candy obsessed, panda-eyed _freak_ was the Great Detective?

Bummer.

"May I ask you a question, Riko-san?"

"What?" I said, shaking myself out of my thoughts to look at him. His painted eyes were watching me closely and his next words were said slowly, almost…hesitant.

"Do you hate me?"

My fork paused its journey mid-way to my mouth; I was surprised at how abruptly he said it. It took me a moment to re-gather myself. "Do I… heh. Y'know, Ryuuzaki, I've thought about that question long and hard ever since you first locked me up in that room and honestly…yes." I paused, thinking. "Yeah, a lot. All jokes, all bickering aside, I really do hate you."

It felt good to say the words to his face. I took another bite of the apple crumble and chewed it with relish.

"I see," L said softly. I winced as a sudden twinge of guilt tugged at me then—aw, _damn_.

"Hey, cheer up a bit, would you?" I said, trying to lighten the suddenly heavy atmosphere. "It's not as if you weren't expecting that."

He didn't reply and for some reason, this worried me. I tilted my head, trying to get a glimpse of his eyes underneath his shaggy fringe and I felt my blood run cold at what I saw. They were blank. For the first time ever, without that… spark that was so very _L_, painted eyes aside. It was like he wasn't even there anymore.

"Ryuuzaki?"

"Did you miss me?" he asked quietly, though the sound of his voice made me jump a little. "When I died?"

I stared at him. "What are you talking about?" I said, my voice slightly higher than normal. "It was just a dream, L, come on…"

L seemed to snap back to himself then; perhaps it was the mention of his title that made him revert back to his usual businesslike monotone. "Yes. Of course."

He turned his black gaze back down to the unfinished pastries in front of him and began to shovel huge amounts into his mouth at a rapid pace, seeming not even to chew or taste the food he ate. His eyes were still blank, still cold—and yet he sat there, devouring and consuming seemingly everything within his reach.

"Easy," I said uncomfortably. "You're going to make yourself sick."

And as abruptly as he had started, he stopped. The hand holding the silver fork up to his mouth lowered. "Yes," he murmured, almost to himself. "There wouldn't really be any point then…"

He fell silent once more and far beyond the invisible barrier he had set around himself, I was becoming increasingly disturbed by his behavior. If it had been any normal person, I would have said that they were falling apart… but this was L. A letter on a screen. The fact that he was dehumanized was his biggest selling point.

And yet…

_What was he doing, yesterday in the rain? _I thought wildly. Then I pushed the thought out of my mind.

"You know, my big brother used to do that," I said, trying to make my voice joking. I felt surge of relief when L's eyes flicked upwards in my direction. "When we were kids. There'd be a massive, all important test the next day, and…well, of course he wouldn't even _look_ at his books till the very last minute." I smiled faintly at the memory. "Crying and tantrums wouldn't work on our mother. So one day he came up with that particular genius plan—to eat himself sick so he wouldn't have to go to school at all."

I laughed, a short sharp sound. "Didn't work, though, not on mom. She made him go and then I heard from my friend later in the day that he didn't just regurgitate _information_ during one of his tests. Stupid fool."

"Your brother was Yuzuru Kimura, correct?" L asked me.

I started slightly at the mention of my real name—I had been using my 'Kurazaki' alias L had given me for so long, I'd missed the sound of it. "Yeah. You went through my files, Ryuuzaki?"

His reply was unapologetic. "Yes."

I stared at him for a while and he matched my gaze evenly. Finally, I looked back down at my hands. "He died around a month ago," I said quietly. "He was sick. Remember? I asked you if I could leave the Kira building and you refused. The first time I punched you in the face?"

L said softly, "Yes, I remember."

"If you'd have let me visit him, L, I could have saved him. I know it. I could've called the ambulance, I could've found his medicine. But you didn't. And now the only family I have left is dead."

I stood up suddenly and looked at L, still in his crouch. "I don't think I'm hungry anymore," I said coldly. "I'll see you at Headquarters."

And then I left him there, surrounded by empty plates.

* * *

><p><strong>9:37 a.m.<strong>

I cursed myself for not thinking to bring an umbrella. It had begun to rain outside, great, fat droplets of water that quickly drenched me to the bone.

I hated rain.

I hated Ryuuzaki—L, whom I had left behind me. I hated the Task Force building, my prison, where I was going now. I hated the Task Force themselves with their suspicious looks and stares. I hated Light, with his damn near perfect hair. I hated Watari, with his stupid moustache.

I hated myself, for blaming L.

Angrily, I kicked at a muddy puddle at my feet; it splashed back onto the legs of my jeans, staining them with muck. I opened my mouth to bellow my frustrations—

"Ungh…"

I whirled around at the sound, so soft, like a sigh by my ear. Amidst the torrents of grey rain that poured around me, I could see no one. Even the buildings seemed to have disappeared. If it wasn't for the occasional honk of traffic or the occasionally snippet of conversation I heard floating around me, I would have thought I was alone.

I turned back around.

"Help…"

There it was again! I whipped my head towards the sound.

"Hello?" I called out into the rain, feeling extremely foolish. I was probably imagining it. If I could hallucinate an entire day, then it wouldn't be too great a step for me to start hearing voices, too. But on the off chance…

"Marco?" I yelled.

A moan sounded out somewhere to my left and I jogged over blindly towards the direction of the noise. As I drew closer, I could just make out the faint outline of a slumped shape against a wall and my heart quickened.

"Hey, hey are you alright?" I asked as I reached the person and knelt down beside them. Their face was turned away from me so I gripped their shoulders and turned them towards me. And then I yelped in horror, skittering backwards.

It was a woman. Obviously very beautiful, once, with flowing hair that was a light-brown color you didn't see often around these parts—a foreigner. Her face was small but symmetrical, her nose lightly freckled.

But all of these little details came to me later, after I had gotten over the shock of seeing the gaping black holes where her eyes should have been.

"Oh my God," I gasped out, slowly crawling back towards the woman. "Miss—shit—are… are you—"

Suddenly the woman's arms were out, and clawing at my own. "_Don't_!" she hissed at me through tightly clenched teeth. "Please…"

"Wh-what are you talking about?" I stuttered, scrabbling frantically at her hands in an attempt to unhook them off the sleeves of my jacket. "What—"

"It hurts…" the woman moaned, desperately. "…and I…"

Suddenly she gave a great shuddering gasp and fell forward, her body limp in my arms.

I sat there, frozen as the pounding of the rain grew and fell like shards of ice into my body. Almost every part of me was numb, partly with cold and partly with horror… except my hands. They were toasty warm. The small, disconnected part of me wondered why that was so… I looked down and saw the gleaming scarlet that covered them, oozing from the still warm body in my lap.

"Oh God…" I murmured frantically under my breath. Roughly, I shoved the woman's body off my lap and scrambled back to my feet. I stared at the broken, lifeless figure on the ground—

_L_

—and I turned, retching into the space between the piles of garbage and the brick wall next to me. Head spinning, I turned back to the woman and—

-what woman?

I blinked. There was nothing there, save for the clear puddles of rain at my feet, and the faint odor of bile behind me. Nothing that even suggested that any person but me had even been in the alleyway.

"I…"

I ran.

* * *

><p><strong>9:59 a.m.<strong>

Shivering, I pushed through the revolving glass door of the entrance to the building and quickly moved forwards, not looking up. L's surveillance cameras would be somewhere watching me, I knew, and I didn't want to be questioned on why I had gotten back to the Task Force building so late. No doubt L was already here.

I signed in, punching in the seven digit code into the keypad beside the double doors of the elevator and rode upwards to my floor. I didn't know if I passed anyone on the way to my room but if I did, I ignored them.

Finally, I entered my luxury suite and threw myself onto my bed, burying my face into the pillows. _Just sleep, _I crooned to myself over and over, _and when you wake up, everything will be back to normal, just sleep… _

I didn't know what time it was when I woke up later. I wasn't even groggy; I was strangely alert, as if I hadn't closed my eyes at all.

Silently, I ambled towards my bathroom and shut the door behind me. I stared into the gleaming rectangular mirror above the sink and swallowed painfully as I saw the red-brown smears on the sleeves of my jacket and on my hands. I closed my eyes and then reopened them. The smears were gone. Quickly, I opened one of the shining, golden faucet and held my hands under the warm stream. Despite the heat, they trembled and shook.

Yuzuru had always been the braver one out of the both of us. He was the one who had wanted to be a cop, or a detective someday. I often thought that he would have handled my situation infinitely better than I was doing.

He was the kind of person who'd get beaten up in the schoolyard for saving someone else, the kind of person who'd take a punch for someone he barely knew. I can't remember how many afternoons I spent patching him up after school before our mom came home from work. I became quite good at it, too. And while I stuck the Hello Kitty plasters on his face or his knees or wherever, I always asked him why he did it. Why he couldn't just spare himself the trouble and walk away.

And he always replied with the same surprised expression, "_Well, why would you?_"

Stupid fool.

I had always scorned and admired him for that reply. If it had been him, today… if he had been the one to see the woman in the alleyway, surely, he would have gotten help. Even if she were just a hallucination… maybe it was because of my hesitation that…?

I splashed my face with water and closed the tap. _No. I am going insane. That's the only explanation. First L's death… and now…_

Not for the first time, I wished fervently that he had at least known where I was before he died. On the day I had been arrested, L had left a note in my own handwriting at our apartment, explaining that I had left for some trip or some sort and that I wouldn't be back for a while. I can't imagine how he would've felt when I didn't come back at all…

I shook my head sharply. This wasn't the time for that. I couldn't change anything that had happened—all I could do now is to continue working on the Kira case, like always. Catch the bastard, prove my innocence and then go home.

Yeah.

* * *

><p><strong>3:36 p.m.<strong>

"I don't know whether we should, Aizawa-san… Ryuuzaki has the case to think about…"

"Matsuda," Aizawa replied dropping the formal suffix altogether, exasperated as he sounded. From behind the wall leading into their hallway, I listened quietly. "This is his business we're messing with, we can't just not tell him!"

They were arguing in heated whispers just outside the room where the others were. I had come down from my floor to rejoin the team but they'd caught my attention before they could see me approach.

"Aizawa…" Matsuda sounded nervous, "We don't even know if the caller was serious! It could have been a joke, or a prank…"

"I don't believe it. He said—"

The doors behind them opened and I heard Matsuda's squeak of surprise and Aizawa's sharp intake of breath at the interruption.

"What are you doing out here?" Light's voice asked. "We need your help with one of the footages taken by one of the surveillance cameras set around Higuchi's apartment."

"Ah, yes… sorry, Light-kun," Aizawa replied, "We'll be there in just a moment."

I heard Aizawa hiss something to Matsuda when they entered the room and then I heard the doors close once more. Feeling faintly annoyed that I had missed my chance to hear what they had been discussing, I walked down the hallway they had just vacated and slipped inside the room after them.

"Are you feeling better, Kurazaki-san?" Matsuda asked me as I made a beeline for one of the computers next to Light.

"Perfectly so," I replied, cracking my knuckles. "No files today, Matsuda-san?"

He looked puzzled. "Huh?"

I smacked my forehead mentally as I remembered that that had been part of my dream last night as well. "Never mind. So, what's on the agenda today?"

I looked at all of them expectantly and then raised my eyebrows when none of them replied, avoiding my eyes. "What?"

"Well… before you went out, Ryuuzaki gave us strict instructions not to let you see anymore of the investigation files… um…" Matsuda trailed off at the expression on my face, which mustn't have been very pleasant.

"Did he?" I said icily. "And did he say why?"

Matsuda mumbled something and I leaned forward. "Sorry, what?"

"He said that you were back to being one of the main suspects," Soichiro replied for him, looking withdrawn and tired from behind his glasses. "That you've surpassed Misa Amane in your percentage as the Second Kira."

"That's a lie!" I exploded, slamming my hands on the desk. "He just wants a reason for me to get restless again, and then to do something that would give him evidence against me! That pretentious ba—"

"_This is Watari."_

The sudden boom of Watari's voice through the speakers and the reappearance of the white screen bearing the gothic 'W' on each of the computer monitors drowned out the rest of my sentence. "_Ryuuzaki would like you all to congregate in the main room."_

"What for, Watari-san?" Soichiro Yagami asked exhaustedly, taking off his glasses.

"_All will be explained once you reach there."_ The screen flickered off and I stood, staring at it, my mouth parted in surprise.

_Those words…_

"It's gotta be something important, if he's asking us to all be there," Matsuda said excitedly. "Maybe he has a lead on the real Kira!"

I put a hand to my suddenly clammy forehead and closed my eyes, swaying slightly on the spot. _Wow… what déjà vu…_

"Riko-san? Are you coming?" It was Light, pausing by the doorway. I shook my head.

"No, I'll just stay here. I'm really not feeling well today," I lied. "Besides, _Ryuuzaki_ probably wouldn't want me in there, putting all of my Kira germs or whatever on whatever he wants to show us."

"You're being childish," Light said.

"Don't I know it," I mumbled, slumping over one of the long couches in the center of the room. "You better get going, Light-kun. Wouldn't want to deprive him of a chance to bump up your percentage, after all."

Light gave an all suffering sigh and left the room, closing the door shut behind him. Immediately, I sat up and wrapped my arms around my knees on the couch, rocking unsteadily.

"It was just a dream, Ariko," I muttered to myself. "This is a coincidence. Just a dream, just a dream…"

The rain was beating harder against the glass behind me and I raised the volume of my voice to drown out the sound. "Just a dream, just a dream, just a dream—"

It was strange, but I swear I could hear the tolling of bells somewhere underneath the harmonics of the storm outside.

"Please…"

Thunder boomed across the sky with an earth shattering roar and I pressed my palms against my ears. The bells tolled louder than ever.

"L…"

_Thud. _

My eyes, which I had been squeezing shut, opened to red-darkness. A strange half light that I remembered from only my most vivid of dreams—

No. Nightmares.

Trembling, I stood up and fumbled my way to the door, my breath catching in my chest every time I tripped over a piece of furniture, or my own feet. Blindly, I felt around for the doorframe and then caught hold of it, using it to steady myself.

_A power outage, _I tried to make myself believe the words, _from the storm. That's all._

And then Light's scream rang through the building and the fragile string of hope I had been clutching onto snapped, disintegrated before my very eyes.

"Shit," I whispered, then I called out, "Ryuuzaki!"

I didn't realize I had started to run through the halls until I felt the ache in my leg muscles and the sting my breath left as it travelled in and out of my body in short, sharp bursts.

"_Ryuuzaki! L, where are you?"_

I stumbled around a corner and felt my way to what I hoped was the door to the main room. I ran my shaking hands along the sides for the keypad; when I found none, I slammed my hands against it in frustration.

Suddenly, my wrist brushed against something thin and cold near the edge of the door. I felt around it and realized it was the handle.

_Handle? I don't remember a handle… dammit, I'm in the wrong place!_

Right then, there, I knew I should have turned back. I should have tried to find my way back to the main room, to the others. But something compelled me to stay. Something compelled me to put my hand back on the handle and turn it. Something compelled me to open the door.

So I did.

My first thought was that there were a million glittering insects in the room. Fluttering, flittering in the air, catching the silver light that filtered into the room. Then my eyes adjusted to the darkness and I saw the hulking form of the monster in the middle of it all.

One luminous yellow eye stared at me as the rivers of—sand?—ran down the shinigami's body, twisting and flowing into a single pile at her feet. I couldn't understand where it was all coming from until I saw her upper body collapse into the ground, the faint glitter of dust swirling around her broken body.

_She's…dying…?_

A jagged, purple gash of a mouth moved silently as her single eye bored into my own and then—

"It wasn't sand…" I whispered.

"Shinigami! Where are yo-?" Light's voice cut off as he saw me at the doorway and I collapsed into blackness for the second time that day.

* * *

><p><strong>6:28 p.m.<strong>

"I don't understand… why would she…"

"Matsuda-san, if you won't believe the evidence before your own eyes…!" Aizawa. Aizawa's voice.

Soichiro Yagami's voice was the next one I recognized. He sounded tired. "In any case…"

"L…" It took me a moment to realize that the name had come from my own lips, and that the others had fallen silent as they realized I was no longer unconscious.

My throat was dry, and I moistened my lips with my tongue before I next spoke. "Is L dead?"

Aizawa answered my question with a tone of barely suppressed rage. This confused me. "Yeah, he is. Of course that'd be the first thing you'd ask, you—"

"Aizawa!" came Soichiro's sharp reprimand.

I sat up then, full awareness of the past few –hours? minutes?—flooding into my mind. The others watched me warily but I paid no attention to this, shaking my head slowly as I struggled to overcome the fog of haze that still clouded my head. "What happened? Where…" Something jangled at my wrist as I attempted to run a hand through my hair and I looked down in confusion. "Why am I chained to the bed?"

No one replied to my question and I searched the faces of each one of them in turn (_anger, fear, despair_) before my eyes landed on Light's. This triggered my memory.

"Light, the shinigami—it wasn't sand after all, we were wrong—"

The men in front of me exchanged glances with one another; I saw Aizawa's expression darken. I curled my hands into fists.

"What is _wrong_ with you guys?" I demanded.

"Kurazaki-san." Light's voice was cold, formal and I stared at him incredulously. "You're not seeing this from our perspective."

"Perspective…?"

"L is dead. We saw it happen, all of us, we were all there in the room… except you." He gave me a very pointed look and still, I struggled to comprehend. What was he doing? What was he talking about?

And then it came to me in a sudden flash of understanding.

"You think I did this." Not a question.

Aizawa, apparently unable to take much more, burst out, "Enough with the act, Kurazaki! We _know_ you did it! We found _this_—" he thrust a bundle of something directly underneath my nose, "—in your room!"

I looked down at the object he proffered and felt the muscles around my chest tighten. Quickly, I looked away.

"That doesn't prove anything," I whispered.

Aizawa threw his hands up in the air; the epitome of frustration. "That's it, I'm outta here…"

"Listen!" I pleaded. "I was in the same place you left me until the lights blacked out! It was the shinigami, the white one, who wrote down L's name! I saw her!"

Soichiro's face was a map of indecision; clearly, he was struggling to be fair. "Kurazaki-san, if what you're saying is true—" Aizawa let out a snort behind him "—then where did the shinigami go? When we arrived, we only found you."

"She…" I racked my brains, trying to remember. Where _had_ she gone? And when the answer finally came to me, my face dulled as I recounted what had happened tonelessly. "She disintegrated. After she wrote the name."

Just as I had predicted, the other men in the room exchanged glances—how could they believe it, after all? The shinigami was literally, a _God_ of Death. Gods couldn't—didn't—die.

But then what had I seen? L had always said that he relied on his instincts to solve a case. Sure, I was no detective, but… I knew what I had saw. And I felt, in my gut, that there was something more to this.

"Listen, I know this may seem unbelievable but I think that the shinigami's related to Misa-san somehow—"

Matsuda interrupted with round eyes, "Misa misa-chan?"

"Yes!" I said in exasperation. "Look at the timing, just as Light and Misa were about to be put on trial… and she didn't exactly seem too fond of Light-kun…I mean, why now? Why kill L today when she could've done it ages ago? It's gotta be in response to L wanting to test out the thirteen day rule…" I was speaking more to myself now, "and if the shinigami didn't want L to try it out, then…it's gotta be…"

_Could it be…? Was the thirteen-day rule… a fake? Was L right, _again_?_

"Kurazaki-san?" The sound of Matsuda saying my name interrupted my line of thought and I looked up. There was a strange, half-wild look in his eye that made me uncomfortable. "If you said that you stayed in the same place when we left…how did you know about Ryuuzaki wanting to test the thirteen day rule?"

A shocked silence rang through the room. The blood drained from my face. "I…"

"Alright." Soichiro said firmly, taking the lead of the situation. He surveyed us piercingly from behind his thick, square-framed glasses. "It's late. None of us are thinking rationally after Ryuuzaki's…" he cleared his throat. "We should all get some rest."

He shot a meaningful look at Aizawa, who crossed his arms and turned away. Then he addressed me. "Kurazaki-san…"

I looked up.

"…I'm sorry, but it would be best if you stay here, for now. At least until everything's…settled."

As the men filed out of the room, each casting their respective accusatory glance at my person, still chained to the bed, I called out to the last one to leave.

"Light-kun…?"

He turned around to face, me, expression completely blank.

"You believe me, don't you?" The childish question fell from my lips before I could stop it and I held my breath.

Light paused and I could swear I saw a flicker of red run through his brown-amber eyes before his face became impassive once more.

"Goodnight, Kurazaki-san," was all he said in reply before he closed the door behind him.

And then I closed my eyes and willed the world to become a dream once more.

**AN: Please tell me how I did. I haven't written fanfiction in a while, and I'd really like to know what you guys think of the story so far… review, and thanks for reading!**

**(Also if you have time, please check out my other fic under the reverse of my penname!)**


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